Stoney's Bear Mount

So much to say about this.

Should I talk about the 11 months of work in here? The fact that we would be rolling in bear mounts if I didn't take a break from the game in August? Should I reminisce about when we first stepped into ZA and were wiping so bad that most of the guild stopped running it forever--well, until my groups started getting close to the 4th timed chest and then many wanted to come in and partake in the loot. Should I bring up the heartbreaking 1% wipes on Hexx & ZJ? Or the night we wiped 10 times on Jan'Alai due to my stubbornness? What about when the mace dropped off ZJ on our first kill and an initiate won the roll over Awl and I gave it to the initiate--and Awl didn't speak to me for a few days. Or two weeks ago when we missed by 30 seconds? So many experiences. So many times I took groups, pushed them to their limits and tested them against the clock; pushed to the edge and brought back again. So many strategies laid out, pep talks given, and tongue lashings administered. So many damn Healthstones!

The bear mount is the culmination of all of this for me. To most it's a mount and a helluva fine trophy mount at that. To me, it's every wipe, every win, and every moment of my time I've invested up to this point in the Burning Crusade. This represents the blood sweat and tears of hundreds of hours of work, practice, and play.

To be honest, I did loot it to myself. I took advantage of my position of power and asked the raid if I may be so bold as to take it. Almost everyone said for me to take it. But almost isn't unanimous. No one spoke up either in raid chat or in a whisper to say, stop. But I know that some wanted to do so. And so I broke our loot guild policy. I do apologize to you for taking advantage of my position. I promise you this mount means more to me than it possibly could to anyone else. That's not to diminish your desire for it, but only to say the meaning it takes on for me. I mean, I couldn't even look at Awl and Dwarfknight on their mounts for the past two weeks. And when we blew our chance at another one this last Saturday I was devastated--and pissed.

To some it may seem strange to wrap up so much emotion in a virtual item, but again to me the item is symbolic. Raid leading is not easy. I've endured plenty of name calling both to my face and behind my back. I've driven some away and pulled some in closer. I've managed conflicts and dealt with drama. I've yelled at people for their mistakes and apologized profusely for my own. I've cool hot heads and breathed vigor back into those who stopped caring. I've earned this fucking mount.